The Swiss Honeymoon is over … now what?

Have you recently arrived in Switzerland as an expat?   Here is a short article written by Melina Hiralal on how to cope with this exciting and challenging time.  Melina is a cross cultural consultant and lives near Nyon. She works with companies, families and individuals offering training and assistance during both the expatriation and the repatriation process.  She will be writing a series of articles for this site on expatriate issues and says that sometimes, "living in an unfamiliar culture is like watching a foreign film without sub-titles". If  you would like advice from Melina you can contact her at hiralal.wolf@bluewin.ch

The Swiss Honeymoon is over … now what?

If you arrived at some point in Switzerland during the summer, you were probably basking in the knowledge that you made a good call when you or your family decided to become expats for a while.  The country had all its finery on show, you may have spent lovely afternoons down at a lake, or been on beautiful walks up in the mountains or even participated in some of the many festivals that were going on during the summer break. Beautiful, clean, well-organised and safe, these things come to mind when we speak about Switzerland and they are the reasons that may have encouraged you to take the plunge.

A few weeks down the line and real life has taken over

. The children are possibly settling down in their new schools, the spouse is investing a lot of time and energy in the new job which brings its own challenges … and the accompanying spouse is left trying to build a life that feels “right” for everybody. The way we go about tackling the challenges of every-day life in a new location will influence our experience of living abroad. It can be nerve-wracking to drive the car on the “wrong” side of the road and everyday tasks take so much longer and can be a source of much frustration when you don’t speak the language. What might have seemed quirky and fun, now feels strange and decidedly “un-fun” as we try to get a handle on creating a new life in a new location.

Frustration, confusion, tension and embarrassment are all

normal

reactions to our cross-cultural encounters. We let ourselves be fooled into a false sense of security by the fact that the population around us looks and lives in a way similar to the one we left behind without realising that it is in fact very different. The choices we make at this point will influence our expat experience. Is it helpful to withdraw from our host country’s society, criticising and rationalising what we see? Was it part of our plan to end up seeking comfort in the more familiar expatriate community? Probably not - so what can we do in order to avoid the downward spiral of loss of confidence and comfort and turn frustration into hope and resentment into trust along the way.

• Observe: just for a moment, imagine you have moved to Outer Mongolia, or another culture very different from your own. How would you go about learning about this culture and the best way to fit in?

• Be curious: try the new food, participate in the new customs and experience new ways of doing things.

• Inquire: ask a local why they do things differently, ask a local to explain what the tradition and customs you are observing means.

• Listen: Listen to the explanations you are given, they are the key to the code to understanding your environment.

Living in an unfamiliar culture is like watching a foreign film without sub-titles.

These simple tools can hopefully increase your understanding of what is happening around you and help you to feel more connected to the place you have chosen as your temporary home. Melina Hiralal - Cross-cultural consultant